Team Newbie

Team Newbie has made it through 0 adventures without anyone dying*
*at least, not staying dead
All time record: 7 adventures with no permanent deaths

Important note: Please play this song to fully understand Team Newbie while reading this page.


Young adventurers, who were thrown into the mix of a bloody and intense campaign against dark forces, found refuge in friendship and formed an unofficial group within the party, to support each other and go on awesome hat shopping sprees.

Team Newbie has since been following the party around on their adventures, through high seas, winter forest, firebee breathing dog infested dungeons, and places no low level characters should ever be allowed to go.

In Adolescence

Team Newbie has proven to be a valuable asset to the team, being quite well-rounded in skills and personality. The team hasn't changed name, but they're pretty battle-hardened and badass (especially Lemon, who might have more battle-scars than skin by this point).

Though there's been no solid direction for what great things Team Newbie wants to do in the long-run, it's likely to be something really rad.

Shake Ups

Team Newbie is famously a game changing and powerful force which affects situations. So it is unsurprising that they decided to affect party dynamics by becoming capable warriors and then later - once they were relied upon - losing most of their membership.

Elmon Lemon is now a badass ghost following a failed attempt to wrench his soul back into his lifeless cadaver. How or when he will make things difficult for the party is unknown.

Lazlow was charmed and is now spending a year and a day underwater with some sexy water ladies. His lawful alignment may be affected by his aquatic romps. He's also the last surviving member of Team Newbie (that we know of) and therefore the defacto leader.Team Newbie probably won't need to change its name.

Ruddy Flynn, as the previous defacto leader of Team Newbie, wasn't good at recruiting some new newbies. There was a promising Dwarfish rapper who died, and definitely others too.

A Rebirthening?

PERHAPS. Team Newbie 2.0 might end up being pretty radical. Team Goblin may end up being a child group to Team Newbie, especially with a chaotic halfling in charge.

Team Newbie 2.0 currently consists of Geoffrey Diamonds, Dana, and Princess. New Members Always Welcome

Goals and Principles

1. Not die.
2. Achieve greatness through the power of friendship.
3. Show everyone how moxy is all you need to make your way through this crazy world.
4. Unstone Lucky Sara somehow.
5. Liberate Dragonssett from the Fellharts.
6. Get Lazlow back from the Nixies, through patience or daring (preferred)
7. Abuse even the smallest iota of power.
8. Necromancy isn't that bad.

Current Membership


Lucky Sara the Fighter (Currently Stoned)
Lazlow the Cleric (Underwater until July 2015)

Also Starring:

Chad the Horse
Windmelon the Mule
A variety of kicking rad hats
A selection of unfortunate war dogs


  • Mostly not dying.
  • In the forests of Borland, while the rest of the party was preparing the Great Tree for travel, Team Newbie did some scouting. They discovered a den of Dire Otters, and The SunBringer was able to convince the otters to help by pulling the prepared tree/raft.
  • Assisted Silent X and Baelfjord in the rescue of the remains of Ser Cleve from a pack of Winter Wolves and didn't die (barely).
  • Lead the party safely to Benson's Hill to acquire the blessing necessary to kill the Demon Queen.
  • Lazlow the Cleric made it to Level 5 :D!
  • Ruddy Flynn made it to level 4 + 1 before she did a stupid thing.
  • Elmon Lemon was widely liked, and most people were sad about his death.
  • Lazlow owns a building in Huge Red with catapults on the roof. Living. The. Dream.


  • Lucky Sarah, left stoned until the demon queen is slain.
  • Lazlow, barring possible rescue, is charmed into serving nixies at the bottom of the ocean.


~gone but not forgotten~
Ruddy Flynn
Elmon Lemon (living the best afterlife ever on a ghost ship)
Tippa the Elf (Lazlow wasn't able to save her from being eaten werewolves, partially his fault for getting her drunk)
Fritz the Elf
Katalyn the Elf
Lucky Jack
Linnaeus Proctor (Died as he lived: hard and fast)
Dignity (died on the second game of Team Newbie after getting killed by a cat)
Zero the Dog (was afraid of undead, oddly)
Burric (Paid 60 silver to drink from a mysterious pool in the dungeon, that replays his death constantly)

Team Newbie
Members Ruddy Flynn - Lucky Sara - Elmon Lemon - Lazlow
Former Members Tippa The Elf - Fritz The Elf - Katalyn The Elf - Lucky Jack - Fiskars - Linnaeus Proctor - Dignity
rating: +1+x
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