Fishing with the Diamonds Family

or, an otter disaster

The Party

Benedictish Frankwich
Geoffrey Diamonds with DJ Nasty Stone
Imperator Princess
Pilot Inkhands
Ser Cleve the Thief


You forgot the part where Ser Cleve tried to give the owner of a tavern in the village of Rachvastava a free fortune telling and promptly got the party run out of town.

The Reunion

After a short search for the island that Liam Diamonds lived on, the party found his cottage. Though he wasn't there, Geoffrey Diamonds told everyone to make themselves at home and to start cooking some dinner.

Billbucket began singing for 8 hours to attract a weasel, Mister Blister.

When Liam finally returned, he was angry that people were eating the meat he set out to cure, because "It would've been much better after three more days, don't you know anything, Geoffrey?"

Liam surprised everyone but Geoffrey by being an asshole. Geoffrey slapped his father in the face with his fat sack of coin and mocked him for being illiterate, Liam ignored it and proceeded to show everyone why Geoffrey ran away from home in the first place.

Just say the word, and we'll slap him around a little bit.

A Fishing Trip

Liam had been hunting "the most worthy quarry" upon this lake, and a deal was struck: Geoffrey and friends would help him, and he would help us hunt something.

We set off and began exploring the lake, landing upon a small island with goblins on it. We set up a picnic and it was whimisical as fuck, until…

Fuck Birds

Gulls attacked. They were bullshit and we killed them and fuck birds. The goblins told us that the beast we were hunting wasn't the biggest thing in the lake, and that there was something bigger that wanted gold, not fish like what Liam Diamonds had been hunting.

Knowing this, we set off with a chum line of dead gulls and a bag of 100 silver pieces. We met some giant otters, which were adorable. Liam Diamonds proceeded to blast one with his longbow and now Otters hate us and we hate Liam Diamonds.1 After a long and unsuccessful day, we started making our way back to Liam's Island, when sharks started following us and our boat sprang a leak.

Suddenly, we were sandwiched between a black dragon and a giant shark and its posse. Billbucket, with a mighty lightning bolt, nearly downed the dragon in one attack. Liam put an arrow through its eye to finish the job. The sharks proved more difficult, and as the black dragon's acid ate away at the boat, the situation grew dire.2

Benedictish entered the water to fight the sharks, while Geoffrey Diamonds flew around launching magic missiles. Ser Cleve turned into a giant squid to help pull the boat to shore, while Inkhands and Princess mightily baled water. As the boat pulled away, Benedictish was at risk of being left behind in the water. Billbucket swooped in and rescued him, though Benedictish was mad he didn't get to kill the shark :( but Geoffrey did and earned his father's begrudging respect :)3

The next morning, Ser Cleve found the dragon's corpse washed up on a nearby Island and cast Identify on it to find its lair. Sweet gems and coins were pilfered and we didn't have to share with Liam which is good because we hate that guy.

Next Game

The Fel heart wizards are in our sights, but specifically, there is a golem that needs tending to.4


Black dragon scales for everyone!
Stacks of shiny coin and gems.


Tiger Eye: 1
Moss Agate: 61
Lapis Lazuli: 99
Chrysoprase: 107
Diopside: 127
Topaz: 156
Garnet: 356
Rose Quartz: 401
Ruby: 713
Amethyst: 977
Oriental Emerald: 6344 - Benedictish



Monsters Slain

5 sharks of various sizes
1 giant shark
22 gulls
1 black dragon


Fantasy League Scores

The Squad Game: Fantasy Dungeons and Dragons league
Scores listed as Kills/Points
Don't forget to divide by your squad power!

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