14-8-2015 - All my exes live in hexes

Chasing threats from the woods and hills near Darkscroll continues, with a family of Giants subdued and dog-headed heretics chased from the forest. The farms west of us remain, and then to look North to the shipping lanes—while the raiders from the Stone Lands have been chased out for now, it would be disastrous to see them again during castle construction. Soon, we'll have to sail to their lands.

The Party

Benedictish Frankwich
Imperator Princess
Dana the Dwarf
Ser Cleve the Thief
William Shakespeare
Pilate Inkhands

Darkscroll is Boring

We can't drink here, so we played trust games. Princess tried to play I spy, except it wasn't very much fun because she just sat there stone silent. Cordelia recruited a pirate longship.1

Another Jaunt

After the previous week's sojourn killing unsuspecting families and marginalized communities, we set out from Darkscroll to see what problems we could cause solve. This time, we headed southwest.

"Petrichickens aren't that common I swear"

Three ugly roosters flew by, their little bat wings flapping away. Cleve tried to put one to sleep, but it didn't work and they got mad.2

William Shakespeare shot them with his thermal pistol, but they kept coming. Fortunately, they fell upon mighty Dana, and Tok and Princess stepped in front of the new members Pilate and Dolf. Nobody was turned to stone and Princess killed all three very easily at the cost of her sweet hat. Baelfjord would have been very afraid and would have not done that so maybe Princess should also be God Tier.

Yeah, you detect Hella Enemies

As the sun set, we found a creepy old boat covered in vines and moss and wailing from beyond the void probably. "Cool" we said, let's go check it out. It was a trap and it was full of enemies.

A bunch of creepy grey demons came out. They didn't turn when our cleric cast them away, so we set about fighting them the old fashioned way. They got back up even after our relentless attacks, so Pilate used holy water to bless them and they disappeared forever.

While this was happening, Cleve was engaged tracking some sort of creepy flying thing in a tree. It cast a spell on Pilate and then turned into a boar, which charged Dolf. Fortunately, cleve turned it into a donkey.


The Donkey still charged dolf who, at Cleve's insistence, had a prolonged wrestling match with the beast. It was weird, but we caught it in the end.3

Pilate succumbed to strange magics and decided he would be way happier out at sea. fortunately, Cleve dispelled the magical influence and Pilate returned to bless the evil monsters as Princess Benedict Tok and Dana swatted them down with vigor.

We identified the donkey and found out it was an imp and also where it hid its treasure. It was an ok haul.

"Cloud Giants aren't that common I swear"

We flew home, because fuck this tiny deserted town. Except ont he way, we were chased by cloud giants. Our rap didn't deter them, but cleve turned into an air elemental and propelled the ship. We were only hit by one boulder, and only Princess the near-dead pilot.

We tried to set into huge red, but were assailed by the ghost ship. We out maneuvered it and everything was cool. It has a New Ghost on its deck.

Pialte took over piloting. We made it safely to Manerladder and everyone got shit faced. Princess got swindled out of all her coin #yolo.

Monsters Slain

3 Petrichickens @ ???XP
14? Lemures @ ???XP
1 Demon Demon (captured alive)


  • ??? CP
  • ??? SP
  • ??? GP


Surprisingly, nobody!

Next Week

Fuck Hexes let's go see Bjorn!

Fantasy League Scores

The Squad Game: Fantasy Dungeons and Dragons league
Princess: 3 Petrichickens
Pilate: 14? Lemures
Dolf: wrestled 1 donkey imp
Scores listed as Kills/Points
Don't forget to divide by your squad power!

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