Game 16: Witty Name Here

The Party

Benedictish Frankwich w/ Mumblefluff
Giertha w/ Inga Dickpuncher
Shambala Malalala
Dana w/ Reta Bigbad
Geoffrey Diamonds with Hashtag Goku and The Rapman
Gustav IV: Gustavus Musselmenschen w/ Gyorrj le Kay the Demon Slayer and Schlongzor
Hayzeus the Meek w/ Bob
Baelfjord w/ Deagh and Buck Swanson 420

Happy Birthday Buck Swanson!!!

How Baelfjord Befriended a Basilisk

Surprisingly, during this week not a single person failed their carousing check. This is too bad, especially given the game took place on 4/20 and it probably would've ended up in some whimsical, Cheech and Chong style antics. As well, nothing else bad happened. No ghost ships, no jerks sailed in to yell at us, nobody blew up while researching… it was a 4/20 miracle.

Geoffrey Diamonds took the corpse of the basilisk slain last week and, with the help of Mumblefluff, revived it. The Rapman, as it was soon to be called, was placed next to Baelfjord in the marching order and he was surprisingly okay with this.

Into the dungeon we went, to seek out the big black dogs that we hate and keep messing up our locate object spells.

Raw Doggin'

Reta Bigbad was able to sniff out the dogs, and we had Buck Swanson set up his minigun just before the door so he could open fire immediately and kill anything in the room. All we really shot was a giant pile of poop, though, as the big dogs somehow were able to know we were coming and got out of the way.

These dogs are real assholes, let me tell you. First, they consume dead people and become stronger. Secondly, they mess up all kinds of spells and have magic resistance. Third, they can probably teleport and make roughly 2,000 copies of themselves at will twice per round. Surrounded by dogs, the party was able to slowly whittle them down until Gustav got in a dispel against two of them, sending away their illusory allies. These dogs, after having no defense against the wave of pain that is our fighters, were quickly slain. The Rapman bit one to death and it was determined that a dead basilisk is no longer poisonous. Boo.

Geoffrey Diamonds cast book mobile and flew around the room leaving a sparkling wake before giving the last barghest terms (or, a "deal" because demons don't believe in ideas like surrender or giving up so you just have to speak their language and stroke their ego).

Striking a "Deal"

Our requests:

1. Where is Ser Cleve?
2. Where is the Demon Queen?
3. Where is the Lady in a ring of fire?
4. Non-aggression agreement between our two groups.

Our offers:

1. We won't kill him.
2. Better goblin leadership under Reta Bigbad, who will serve the barghests more competently than Olbrechus and provide them with delicious enemies to consume.

"Maxwell" the barghest was very happy with this offer, and gave us the following information:

1. Ser Cleve is downstairs in the Arena level's SW corner. There's a deadend hallway there which isn't real, just ignore it. This leads to caves. You can also access where he is by the curving tunnels below the Arena, or the sinkhole in town. There, we will find the dwarf roads, trolls that demand tolls, and the pandocar monks with Ser Cleve.

2. The Demon Queen lairs in level 10 (we were on level 6). There are multiple thrones on this level, but hers is the best one, in a room with a statue and six pillars. In the NW and NE corners, she has two serpent bodyguards. These guys are pricks. Just west of her throneroom there are two sets of pools of water, only drink from the north pool.

3. The lady in a ring of fire can be found in the NE portion of the 9th level, near the main stairs. Beware the jailer.

4. Further, Maxwell was kind enough to give us a breakdown of the levels from the fortress:

Level 6: The Three Fortresses
Level 7: The Arena (AKA The Fartress, Degrassi)
Level 8: The Pool
Level 9: The Hole / The Prison
Level 10: Throne Room

5. Last, Maxwell was more than happy to help Reta become the new Queen of the Goblins, and told us that Olbrechus was just to the north and that he kind of hated that guy and wants to eat him. Perfect.

Next Week

Kill Olbrechus, take over control of goblins. Get Cleve. Get Lady in ring of fire. Get Demon Queen.

We could commune to learn about the lady (should we even rescue her or is this a terrible idea?), the serpent body guards which are undoubtedly demons and it'd be nice to learn their names, and figure out if the worm that Maxwell mentioned making the tunnels below is still kicking around.


9 pp
45 gp
1350 sp
4500 cp
Fox fur cape (450)
2 Metal statuettes (450 x 2)
Silver 2-handed sword (450?)
3 Stone statues (450 x 3)

Treasure Share: 558 sp?

Monsters Slain

2 Barghests @ 800 xp per

Full share: 92 xp
Half share: 46 xp


Inga Dickpuncher

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