Braynoch's Cliff XXXIII: Beating Basilisks

The Party

Billbucket Embercrotch
Mumblefluff with Benedictish Frankwich and Jubjub Quartzbomb
Gustav IV: Gustavus Musselmenschen with Gyorrj le Kay the Demon Slayer
Geoffrey Diamonds
Dana the Dwarf with King Reta Bigbad
Hayzeus The Meek with Bob

Things happened

I guess a lot of cool treasure was found super easily which is rad as hell.

Vikings or Something and a Job Well Done

Some jerks in longboats thought it would be hilarious to test the defenses of the town of Huge Red, since the once mighty Calnicans were evicted or ground into dust by the might of Team Newbie. So we got in the Gazpacho Soup, our much cooler flying boat, to sort. this. out.

Too for everyone else that our sick raps made them think that we were the coolest and the situation was resolved with our bangin' sound system. Suckers get to steppin' / our Rhymes are our best weapon /

We flew off into the sunset like ballers who were *not* very afraid of the creepy ghost boat that follows and torments us with the dogged single-mindedness of a madman or the thrall of some evil wizard.

Back in Huge Red, we spent a day resting so that our clerics might have fresh magical spells to use in the dungeon. WCPGW?!


Wolves wearing socks came into town and stole away the dogs of the party to join the circus. Nobody could even be mad because it was adorable and whimsical. Renegade, Dana's beloved half-wold war dog, ran off to join the circus which is the best retirement any war-dog has ever achieved (second place: Killer [owner:Princess], who was aged 10 years and had to be carried out of the dungeon to retire peacefully. Third place: Sprinkles [owner: Killgore the Second, the Exalted, the Slaughterhorn] killed in battle and made into a cape that Killgore wore around which was weird but like, competition for third best war-dog retirement is not very fierce).

Into the Dungeon

We returned to the scene of our epic victory the previous week, because we thought we knew where some treasure was. And we did, and it was super cool.

Then Geoffrey Came

and there was much rejoicing. Immediately after Geoffrey Diamonds crawled out of some unseen nook to join the party, everyone had to make saves against the beautiful song of some bird woman jerk. Men at arms were lost.


The weasel Killgore the II the VI the Weasel was going wild in the room that connected to where the singing was coming from, and was released to go up the stairs to follow the instinct of battle with basilisks. Surely the battle was fierce, but the result was that the King of the Reptiles, the Basilisk, was defeated and our brave weasel Killgore was turned to stone.

Fish in a Barrel

The singing women were getting really annoying, so while Benedictish Frankwich fought with a big spooky cloven-hooved ape demon thing the wizards and clerics started throwing area of effect spells into the room with the 12 singing women and a succubus. Hallucinatory bugs, Gadzooks' Glittering Grenade, and Pyrotechnics were used to completely incapacitate the bird women and stop them from singing. Hayzeus the Meek used an ice-storm spell to kill them all with a hail of chunks of ice, but unfortunately the succubus escaped.


Billions of men at arms
Kilgore the II the IV the Weasel


9490 copper pieces
4100 silver pieces
414 gold pieces

A cool chair (700)
A full set of orchestral chimes (300 - Reta)
A fine chemise (500) (GD, Gifted to Reta)
A fancy gown (900)
Fine prayer beads (700)

A share was worth 2551 sp and 3 cp

Monsters Slain

1 type 4 demon @ 800(?) experience points
12 singin' bird ladies @ 160(?) experience points each
1 basilisk @ 800 experience points

A full share was worth 429 XP
A half share was worth 215 XP.

next: You're Fired

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