Elfland VII: Conclusion

Special K The Undying Lichguy is a big jerk, but you know what? He’s a jerk without very much left to loot. We already took a bunch of spell books and one of his daughters, as well his most prized possession locked away behind a big stone door that needed a big stone key to open: a precious glass coffin with a vagrant sleeping in it. What else is there to do besides kill him for something he did in retaliation for us destroying his roof over a year ago and touch ALL the things he owns while he’s helpless to stop us from doing so?

FIND OUT HOW WE MANAGE TO TOP OUR PREVIOUS HORRIBLE BEHAVIOR AND SUBSEQUENTLY RATIONALIZE IT ALL UNTIL EVERYONE IS LAUGHING TONIGHT!

The Party

Mumblefluff with Benedictish Frankwich, Silent X and Jubjub
Dana the Dwarf with Reta Bigbad
Princess with Magmar
Gustav IV: Gustavus Musselmenschen with Gyorrj le Kay the Demon Slayer
Geoffrey Diamonds with Hashtag Goku and Ralfh
Bob with Fuckslayer and Hayzeus The Meek
Link of Blink
Russet Potato
Tercia the Alchemist
Buck Swanson
The Gazpacho
Archibald Arborlax with Gallow

Hey hey, Special K!

After a small amount of shenanigans like getting so drunk they're initiated into a weird goblin cult (plothook!) and Mumblefluff was saved from his enchanted slumber, (after having a yam goo facial) the party immediately moved to Special K's lair to kill him with a surgical, speedy strike. A small battle with invisible stalkers later, we entered the grand hall where Kazeckish was sitting in wait for us. Geoffrey Diamonds gave a rousing speech that moved Special K to reconsider his evil ways and he spoke to Geoffrey one-on-one, revealing secrets to him that Geoffrey won't repeat to anyone but Mumblefluff. Immediately after, Geoffrey began to cast a spell, and Kazeckish was set upon by multiple warriors.

Kazeckish, backed by a balloon demon, two invisible stalkers, and a will-o-the-wisp, put up an excellent fight. The majority of the party was cut off from Kazeckish by a conjured wall of iron, trapping Gyorrj, Benedictish Frankwich and Hashtag Goku, as well as a giant, turgid bloodpenis demon conjured by Gustav Musselmenschen, with the lich and balloon demon. The demons began to fight it out in what surely must have been the most slow-moving and comical battle ever, while below the warriors fought bravely against the invisible Kazeckish.

A very well-fought battle later, Kazeckish was finally felled and Mumblefluff cramed his phylactery against his skull, shattering the egg into 6 pieces and causing Kazeckish to deflate, ultimately turning into a pile of bones. Everything of value was taken from his lair, including his daughters which are being brought back to Sftabhmontown to attempt to dispel the spell they're held under.

Next Week!

After dispelling the magic that keeps the daughters of Kazeckish in their cat/hawk/frog forms, we will return back to Huge Red again to delve deep into the dungeon beneath Braynoch's cliff and do a thing. As well, we'll roll to see how the distribution of Bob's Little Book of Learning has done after the distribution that took place on Halloween.

Loot

5 books
Lots of coin!
A giant golden cage
More iron than you can shake a stick at. Archibald tried.
Schlongizord

Losses

Link of Blink
Gallow

Next game: Return to Braynoch's Cliff

previous: Elfland Week VI

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