Elfland - Week V

The Death of Kazekish is almost found.

But: upon return from the search that ended as the Fox called Rose told of the riddle-like hiding place for the sorcerer-king’s soul, an unsettling discovery is quickly made. While our adventurers scoured her home and spoke with birds and beasts, A Visitor did trespass upon the ship Gazpacho. In the hold, beakers are broken, papers are scattered as if by a great wind that has blown through, and A Book is missing. The Third Book of Kazekish, called after Unusual Spirits of Ancient Pyromancy Magic, is absent.
That king of elves, Kazekish, has claimed many lives. Since first our party met him in his damp lair, searching for word of the Great Lantern made by bog-elves and stolen by giants, a memory that now only survives in tales never told by Silent X, the Undying lord has returned again and again. But now, we have returned to him.

In his lair now lie the bodies of The Dudestrom, Poog of Zarongel, Nuadine the Elf, Barrister Kryptonite, Crumplestuffs, Merideth Westfire, Ruddy Flynn, Summer the War-dog, and Rufus the Marvelous—but Kazekish himself, cleft in twain by the Feeder of Crows in the hands of Benedictish Frankwich, will surely return ‘fore long, unless the trail is swiftly followed: West, about two miles hence, the elf-daughter Ewa in the form of a falcon told that a Fox looked after his Death, indeed a great emerald. The Rigid King is missing two books of spells, a green-gold finger-ring and a ring of keys, and many hench-folk; perhaps that weakness will offer enough time that he may be destroyed forever.

But how many weeks can Benedictish and Baelfjord spend here in elf-country? Their Geas calls them back East over the seas…

The Party

Benedictish Frankwich with Silent X and Jubjub
Dana the Dwarf with Reta Bigbad
Raddoh the Aviator with Gustav IV: Gustavus Musselmenschen, Gyorrj le Kay the Demon Slayer, and DNK
Geoffrey Diamonds with Hashtag Goku and Ralfh
Bob with Fuckslayer and Hayzeus The Meek
Guildoon Stern
Guildenstern the Fierce Arm Impaler
The Gazpacho

(And a bunch of hired help)

Real cool shit happened

yeah, it was rad 8)

An island in a lake on an island with a church

Gyorrj and Guildenstern decided to swim across a lake in winter to get to an island famed for having big spooky weird wolves on it. Not a problem, except Guildenstern died of hypothermia. Rosencrantz wasn't present but the party agreed to inform him.

Upon landing on the island within the lake and heading into the woods, a small pack of wolves began to circle the party. Not being in the mood for that shit, the party lashed out and messed them up immediately. Skins were taken, and it was fun times. The party heard more wolves in the distance, but came into a small clearing with a hut.

With a wolf in a den 'neath a tree

The hut seemed quiet and small, with a graveyard nearby. Geoffrey Diamonds was able to tell there was a Yew tree within it, the tree we specifically wanted to find to continue our quest for the phylactery. We immediately set to killing the guard dogs outside, Reta Bigbad doing so in a near-frenzy. Ralfh peeked inside and got a hatchet to his face for the trouble. Richard Vickarson was within, and after a few smooth words from Silent X and Geoffrey Diamonds, agreed to not be a jerk most probably because he got the feeling we weren't strangers to fucking up quaint little homes in the countryside for little to no reason. His sweet hatchet, Stoppelbind, was immediately eyed by many in the party. Our enemies were more than just wolves, they were big demon wolves and weird things and Rickard Vickarson was actually a werewolf. When he transformed there was a small scuffle for his hatchet, ultimately leading to Fuckslayer guarding it like a bone at the order of Bob and nibbling on the handle and it was sort of cute. The wolves circled before coming in for the kill, but we ultimately prevailed after a long and nasty fight Raddoh the Aviator simply stood in place behind the fence killing wolf after wolf as they tried to get by him.

The party went to the graveyard to begin graverobbing digging.

A needle in an egg in a duck in a fox in a box

Upon our spades entering the ground, #Goku's blade began to glow an unearthly green and regally dressed skeletal figures began clawing themselves from beneath the soil and throwing magic missiles at us. We stood our ground and defeated them, digging up our box. Upon opening it, a fox sprang out! Bob killed the fox, and after cutting it open, a duck came out! After cutting the duck open, we found a beautiful emerald egg that was surely the prize we set out for.

The Legend of Mumble

With his death in Hand, we set out back to Special K's lair to accomplish one of two things - end him, or save the legendary Mumblefluff. We did find -Sleeping Beauty Mumble, magically asleep in a glass coffin. Unable to wake him from his enchanted slumber, we stole him and high-tailed it out of there.

Next Week

We begin hunting down Special K to deliver to his face the egg of genuine death.


A neat-o book
Lots of money and gems
A magic hatchet
An emerald egg and a golden chest. Unfortunately the duck and the fox didn't make it.



previous: Elfland - Week IV

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