To Elf-Town

From Huge Red and Braynoch’s Cliff, the Gazpacho Soup sailed true across the skies: home almost to Sſtabhmontown, to that fabled hidden valley North of Canpgh. The ship is always sure—never lost it marked easily the tricks of elf-magic that hide the valley, travelling up from the river-mouth.

We rest at an old willow tree—here hangs an old skeleton, one hand pointing south—and newer bones around the roots that already are overgrown with flowers, even in this season of waning light. This week, to Elf-town Aberzel, in search of our captured friend Mumblefluff and the Doom of Kazekish, that terrible sorcerer-lord.

But Elves are strange folk. What secrets will they tell and what lies?

The Party

Raddoh and The Gazpacho
Hashtag Goku
Benedictish Frankwich, with Silent X and Crumplestuff
Ruddy Flynn with Summer the Wardog
Gustav Musselmansion with Gyorrj le Kay the Demon Slayer and Nuadine the Elf
The Dudestrom


While adventuring in Elf Land on the hunt for Mumblefluff, the party found a stream they never quite noticed before by the SPOOKYTREE with skeletons hanging in it. Following this stream led to a pond with a small stone circle next to it. The stone circle was inhabited by a spooky green elf lady with a giant skunk, and Hashtag Goku made friends by showing her how to play candy crush on his dataslab. In exchange for such a wonderful gift, she showed Hashtag Goku which direction to go to find a friend.

Gadzooks threw a silver coin into the pond and a sultry elf lady gave him a sicknasty burn in exchange.

Also, a sweet baby dragon and a cute lil' kittycat were got as familiars. Woo!


Our party was better (Or, how we became murderhobos)

The stream took the party to a hall built into a tree's roots, and Nuadine charmed the doorman to let us into the party. Immediately upon seeing Stephan the Faun1 (the legend goes that all fauns are named Stephan), the party, especially Ruddy Flynn, set into finding a way to kill him. The event inside of the hall seemed super boring since it only had a faun playing a hurdy gurdy and Cinnamon Ciridian the Elf Lordguy doing a business deal with SultrySassy Nehumara the Elf wizard who is lazy and tiny. The Dudestrom marched right up to Cinnamon Ciridian to try to demand that he help with finding Mumblefluff, while everyone else got ready for a disgusting slaughter. They attacked, so we began systematically killing every single elf in the hall with absolute impunity. After Silent X and Hashtag Goku's bloodlust was satiated, Raddoh called out for the few remaining elves to surrender, which they happily did. This included -SultrySassy the tiny elf wizard- Nehumara. "This is our home, we'll fight to the death… but we don't want to die." is the kind of indifferent BS elves are good at, don't listen to them. They want to die so they can get reincarnated as a potato or dorky little butterfly or something.

SultrySassy Nehumara told us very little, but that the head elf around these parts had a sword made for killing kings and is also very sad. Cinnamon Ciridian also apparently was a friend of Mumblefluff so oops. Last, she wants to join with us to travel to Kazekish's lair. The Dudestrom begged Hashtag Goku to squish her in his giant metal hands, but on the spot decision making about ten minutes prior decided that he was decidedly lawful good (to keep with the canon, obviously). Instead, he wants to keep the tiny lady on his shoulder like master blaster.

Ruddy Flynn got the Efreet to break down the magically held door, and we were again released into the wilds of Elf Land to bring havoc to jerks.

Monsters Slain

23 Elves
1 Stephan the Faun (asshole)
Lightening demon


None, but we aren't stuck in Elf Land. Elf Land is stuck with us.


30 gold
More dead elves than you could shake a stick at
A "hot" wand
A teensy cute lil' envelope

next: Elf town!

previous: Return to Elfland

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